Habit 4  To Think Win-Win ：The Habit of Mutual Benefit

Habit 4 is part of our public victory as we move from independence to interdependence.

To Think Win-Win means that we respect others. When we live Habit 4, we are able to find better solutions to problems, develop strong relationships, and include other team members.

. A Mediocre Manger holds the Paradigm: I want it all and you cant have any. I manage my Associates and give feedback when necessary.

. A Effective Manager holds the Paradigm: we can share because there is enough for  all  of us. I don’t manage my Associates--- we set  exceptations   together and they manager themselves.

A good leader inspires a team to have confidence in the leader.

A great leader inspires a team to have confidence in themselves.

Mindsets

Ineffective Mindsets

. Lose-Lose: “if I am going down, you’re going down with me !”  In this mindset, we are very negative. Often times in this mindset, we find ourselves being jealous of others so we want them to fail. As we think about their failure, we also put at risk our own success.

. Win-Lose: “I win, so you lose.” In this mindset, we are very competitive. Often times in this mindset, we compare ourselves to others and figure out how we can beat them. This is the most common mindset.

. Lose-Win:” Go ahead, you win!” In this mindset, we allow people to walk all over us. Often times in this mindset, we want others to like us so we decide not to stand up for ourselves. We do not have courage.

Effective Mindset: Think Win-Win

Think Win-Win mindset is “Let’s find a solution the works for both of us!”

When we Think Win-Win, every person walks away satisfied.

1. Give an example of a time you did not use a win-win mindset. What mindset were you in? What was the result?

2. Give an example of a time you used a win-win mindset. What was the result.

You don’t have to blow out the other person’s light to let your own shine.

Courage & Consideration

Thinking Win-Win requires a balance between Courage and Consideration.

. Courage: Willingness to say your thoughts and feelings (I.e., honesty).

. Consideration: Willingness to listen and respect other points of view.

Activity: “ Courage and Consideration”

For each mindset, list how your Associates may react if you managed in that particular way.

1. High courage, low consideration

2. Low courage, high consideration

3. Low courage, low consideration

4. High courage, high consideration

Which mindset gives the best results?

Win-Win Agreements

Win-Win Ground Rules

1. Desired Results

(What is the end in mind? What are the outcomes WE want?)

2. Guidelines

(What are the rules we need to follow?)

3. Resources

(What resources do we have to work with? People, money, tools, materials?)

4. Accountability

(How will we decide how well things are going?)

5. Consequences

(What will happen if we achieve the desired result? If not?)

When leading a restaurant, Win-Win agreements are very effective when:

. Hiring an Associate

. Delegating an important task

. Resolving a conflict

. Accepting a new task from supervisor

Activity:

“Creating a Win-Win Agreement”

Think of a situation in your work place where a Win-Win agreement would be helpful. Create a Win-Win agreement from your own perspective, anticipating as best as you can the perspective of the other person.

The key to motivation superb performance from your team is to Think Win-Win. This simply means that everyone wins all of the time---the manger and the worker, the team and the team members, the supplier and the customer.

感悟1。尊重是双赢的前提。珍惜是尊重的前提。老板赚大钱，员工挣小钱。老板感谢员工的敬业，员工感谢老板提供就业机会，这才是老板和员工之间应有的积极关系。就怕老板认为“象你这样的，外面有一大把。”，员工认为“天生我才必有用。此地不留爷，必有留爷处。”那关系就弄拧了。对老板而言，不容易留住好员工；对员工而言，如果他的态度不改变，走到哪里时间一长肯定又要辞工。所以很多餐馆老板愿意雇刚偷渡来美的福建人，因为他们很单纯，心里只有一个字：钱。他们要还几万美元的偷渡债，只有买头苦干，唯命是从。

感悟2。好的领导就是人民的公仆，英文叫“Servant Leader”。好的企业就是领导把员工哄好，员工把客人哄好，客人回头，生意就上去了。而生意是餐馆里最重要的东西，因为在每月的P & L (Profit & Loss)报表里，生意是唯一的被减数，减数主要有：房租，工资，保险，货钱，广告，水电，维修，员工福利，奖金和文具。得数为正则盈利（Profit），为负则亏损（Loss）。

A good leader inspires a team to have confidence in the leader.

A great leader inspires a team to have confidence in themselves.

人的潜力很大。但千里马需要伯乐去发现。优秀是种习惯，但需要一个激发优秀的环境。好的领导就是那个激发优秀的人。

故事1  白人铁板师傅Chad  1  2010年9月30日星期四

Chad是一位诙谐幽默富有经验的白人铁板师傅，36岁，双臂刺满纹身。

Chad第一次来工作是在去年夏天，很受群众欢迎。后因无法安排他Full Time而又回到Florida。两个星期前Chad打电话给我说要回来。我与小老板商量后决定给他每个星期6个Dinner Shift，这样他每月也可拿到3千多的收入。Chad 立马买了机票飞了过来。那个不会搞笑的全职铁板师傅也很知趣，主动辞了职。

 Chad在Facebook的朋友圈里已经有了6百多位朋友，遍布全世界。他随时告诉网友他到哪家餐馆打工了，欢迎大家去捧场。他把自己的Show放在网上。他刚回来几天，就有几位客人进入了他的朋友圈，Vice Versa。

我自己苦练过打秀，挑蛋，点火山，刀功，炒台。也在这家店天天看师傅们炒台看了一年。但看Chad炒台仍然从不厌倦，完全是一种享受，常常忍俊不禁。非常欣赏他那种把客人，食物和自己完全融为一体的流畅和和谐。让我想起自己年轻时跳健美操时那种人体和音乐融为一体的感觉。下午Chad来的早。向我讲述了他昨晚下班后的奇遇。

昨晚下班后，Chad得知他的Buddy在酒吧里喝酒，旁边还有三位菲律宾女孩，马上开车过去。菲女极其会挑逗，Chad玩的很开心。

这时，Chad看见一位没腿没手臂的人，而且觉得很眼熟，他就主动上前打招呼，原来这位残疾人很有名，他在全国都做演讲，讲述他人残心不残的故事，激励人们。Chad 递出餐馆的名片，自我介绍，请他有空来吃饭。Chad希望他来吃饭后与他合影，然后放在自己的Facebook里。这时旁边有客人听他说出餐馆的名字，就跟他说：奥，我去过那家，不错。还有几位客人认出Chad。就跟他说：能看见你脱去Chef Coat以外的生活，真好。

Chad在讲述他的故事时眼里充满了自信和自豪。他真的是一位热爱自己工作的好铁板师傅。我很欣赏Chad的这种Sales Skill。真可惜他只能做到明年一月份，然后他就去拉斯维加斯，圣地牙哥，最后去夏威夷参加全美的铁板比赛。等他讲完，我问他那个没腿没膀的单词怎么拼，他只能说个大概，我回家后Google了半天终于搞清楚：Quadriplegic。

晚上连着有三桌客人点Chad的台。前后两桌是在定位时就要求的，中间一桌是看Chad实在太会搞气氛了，临时要求的，我只好对他们说抱歉，建议他们以后可以先定位，并要求Chad炒。客人说：这次我记住了他的名字。

经理看员工先看他能为店里做多少贡献，老板看员工先看他听不听话。这是我与小老板和GG衡量员工好坏的最根本区别。也难怪，立场不同，角度就不同。

Chad向我推荐他在Florida的同事，我说：要想我Hire他，你得先改进你对小老板娘T的态度。Chad说：在这店里，我只听GG，小老板W和你的，因为他俩是老板，你是经理。T不能因为跟W睡觉就可以对我指手画脚。我说：我很明白你的感受。T也常常Challenge我，开始我也不习惯，但我想到毕竟T是W的妻子，也算半个老板。既然是老板，投资了就想有回报，她也是真心为这个店好。这就是中国式家庭店里的人情世故。Chad似懂非懂。

本来东西文化差异就大，加上Chad曾做过佛州很高级Fine Dining店里的Head Chef，我很同情他，但又无能为力，只能让他自己慢慢调整心态了。我能做的就是每天下午Chad来上班时主动跟他打招呼；Chad每次想跟我聊天时，我总是认真地听他讲故事；Chad每次向我汇报餐馆里的Service问题时（主要是小老板娘和表妹的不良表现），我总是在第一时间里Follow Up；当客人在我面前说他好时，我总是在第一时间里给他Feedback。。。总而言之，给足他自尊。

A good leader inspires a team to have confidence in the leader.

A great leader inspires a team to have confidence in themselves.

今天是本月最后一天。这月生意没达到GG的要求，但Beat过了去年同期。其他几家都在掉，我们涨了，GG也还算满意。