老美看美国： 中国会投票选谁做美国总统？

文/ 他爹   翻译/他娘

2012年1月21日

这篇文章会很好玩 — — 但不科学。我想猜猜看，中国政府更希望民主党还是共和党入主白宫，为啥？

我首先想到的是中国宁愿是民主党。因为人们看到或相信他们在使用武力或开战方面更犹豫不决。但是，一旦我想到这里，我就要提醒自己，民主党与共和党实际上站在一起，在对伊拉克和阿富汗开战问题上投了赞成票。推动了利比亚革命和政变，在巴基斯坦 （入侵巴基斯坦顺便不让他们知道的情况下）追捕本 · 拉丹，在他的房子当着他的妻子的面把他打死了。奧巴馬总统还在中东地区增加"无人驾驶"轰炸，炸死了 1000 多名武装战斗人员以及 — — 比布什总统做过或想做的事有过之无不及。

所以，也许民主党也终究不是弱不禁风的主。他们也会对贸易和经济横挑鼻子竖挑眼，为的是保护美国的就业和工业。他们也喜欢在国际贸易委员会面前惩罚实际的或潜在的经济威胁。对进口产品课以高壁垒和高关税---尤其是中国制造的产品。

不， 中国不能投票给民主党。没门！

那么，就是共和党了。可是，民主党看上去虽然弱不禁风，但实际上他们在军事上还是颇有建树。然而，共和党总是口吐狂言，舞刀弄棒，他们喜欢威胁多多。但是，纵观这些总统候选人们，大部分还是挺吓人的----都在哪里咄咄逼人：要增加军费，买更多的战机，炸弹，进攻伊朗，挑战中国。那都是嘴硬，呈口舌之快。共和党的问题就是他们喜欢在本来就没有事的时候，把自己都说的相信了确实有事，说的像真的一样。这样，他们就可以生事。这就是为什么会发生伊拉克战争。共和党已经喋喋不休口吐狂言两年多了，后来实在无法忍受了，于是就推动了一场战争。战争于是爆发了。就像孩子老是吵吵要买玩具，你最终还是满足了他一样。问题解决了，对吗？没有，他们现在又想要另一个玩具。

那么，我们真的有麻烦了。如果中国可以投票，会投给谁呢？

如果我是大陆人，我可能不得不投给民主党，奥巴马总统。不是因为他这届总统做得好，而是因为他是个理性的人。在做出一些重大决定的时候，我不会说共和党很理性。事实上，我会说，共和党很危险，我是说真的！共和党内有一部分，茶党，在我看来就是一群疯子。他们的信仰很离谱，这种信仰居然控制了共和党两年。这就有点像尾巴在摇狗，不是狗在摇尾巴。

我想，最终中国还是会像我认为的大多数的美国人那样投票给奥巴马总统。与一个你已经了解的魔鬼打交道好过与一个你不认识的魔鬼打交道。美国相信这点。我想中国也会相信这点。

（原文）

WHO WOULD CHINA VOTE FOR

U.S. PRESIDENT?

This article will be fun – but not scientific. I would like to speculate on which party, Democrat or Republican, the Chinese government would prefer to be in office and why.

My first thought is that China would prefer a Democrat since they are seen or believed to be more hesitant to use military force or start wars. But, as soon as think this I have to remind myself that the Democrats voted for war in Iraq and Afghanistan along with the Republicans, pushed a coup and revolution in Libya and hunted down Osama Bin Laden in his house in Pakistan ( invading Pakistan by the way without letting them know ) and shot him dead in front of his wife. President Obama has also increased “drone” strikes and killed over 1000 militant combatants in the middle east as well – far more than President Bush ever did or even dreamed of.

So, maybe the Democrats aren’t such skinny weaklings after all.  They also can be very picky about trade and economics wanting to protect U.S. jobs and industry. They like to punish real or perceived economic threats before the International Trade Commission and put high tariffs and duties on imported products – especially Chinese made products.

NO. China cannot vote for a Democrat. No way!

So, that leaves the Republicans. But, while the Democrats appear weak they actually accomplish a lot militarily. However, the Republicans are always talking tough and carrying a big stick. They like to make a lot of threats and after viewing the Republican candidates for President most of them are just a little bit scary – all that talk about spending more on the military, more planes, bombs, attacking Iran, taking on China and standing up to China. That’s a lot of tough talk. The problem with the Republicans is they have a habit into talking themselves into a fight when there isn’t anyone to fight with. So they start a fight. That’s how Iraq war started. The Republicans had been talking tough for 2 years and finally they just couldn’t stand it anymore – so they pushed for a war. And got it. Just like a little kid who complains so much you finally buy him the newest toy. Problem solved, right ? No. Now they want another toy.

So, now we got a real problem. Who does China vote for ( if they could vote )?

If I was a mainlander I would have to vote for Democrats. President Obama. Not because I think he has been a good President but because I do believe he is reasonable. I can not say that Republicans are reasonable when it comes to important decisions. In fact, I would say the Republicans are dangerous, and I mean it! There is a segment of the Republican party, the Tea Party, that is insane in my opinion. Their beliefs defy gravity and those beliefs have controlled the Republican party the past 2 years. It’s a little bit like the tail wagging the dog.

I think in the end China would vote like I believe most Americans will – for President Obama. There’s a lot of comfort in dealing with the devil you know instead of the devil you don’t. Americans believe this and I think China will too.