1. 会说两种语言的人叫什么?
“双语人才”。
会说多种语言的人叫什么?
“多语言人才”。
只会讲一种语言的人叫什么?
“美国人”。
2. 一个美国人告诉他最喜欢的笑话给他的朋友。 “地狱就好比厨师是英国人,服务员都是法国人,警察是德国人,而火车是由意大利人经营的。”
一个欧洲人想了一下回答说:“我不敢说警察和火车,但关于出去吃饭你可能说得对。如果一家餐厅的厨师是英国人,服务员都是法国 而且所有客人都是美国人的话,那就是地狱“
3.为什么德国人现在喜欢美国人?因为美国人现在成了世界上最讨厌的人。
4.美国和酸奶的区别是什么?
如果你让酸奶独立300年,它会自生出文化。
5.一个缺乏现代电信系统的国家叫什么?
“技术落后”
一个缺乏全面的综合银行制度的国家叫什么?
“经济欠发达”。
缺乏一个完善的公共交通系统的国家叫什么?
“美国”
6.联邦政府试图决定联邦调查局,中央情报局,洛杉矶警察局在逮捕罪犯谁最有效。用下面测试来决定 - 兔子放在森林,每个组织都必须找到它。
美国中央情报局进去去后,他们盘问了所有的植物和矿物的证人。经过三个月调查,他们得出结论,兔子不存在。
美国联邦调查局进去两个星期没线索后,他们烧了森林,杀死所有生物,包括兔子,他们不作任何道歉。报告兔子已死。
洛杉矶警察局进去后。他们两个小时后揪出一个头破血流的熊。熊大喊大叫:“好吧好吧,我是个兔子我是兔子!!
7.第六天神对Archangel Gabriel 说:“今天我要创建一个名为加拿大的土地,这将是个绝妙的自然美景。它会波光粼粼的美丽湖泊,雄伟的山脉,熊,麋鹿,鱼等各种资源应有尽有。“上帝继续说:“我必使这块土地拥有丰富的石油,使居民富有。我称这些居民”加拿大人“,他们应被称为地球上最友好的人民。”
“但是上帝”Archangel Gabriel说,“你不觉得你对这些加拿大人太慷慨了吗?”
“不是”上帝回答道。 “咱们走着瞧。看我给他们个什么样的邻居“。
原文:
1.If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
2.An American was telling one of his favorite jokes to a group of friends. "Hell is a place where the cooks are British, the waiters are French, the policemen are Germans, and the trains are run by Italians."
The lone European in the group pondered all this for a second and responded, "I can't say about the police and the trains, but you're probably right about going out to eat. A restaurant in Hell would be one where the cooks are British and the waiters are French - and the customers are all Americans."
3.why do Germans love Americans? because Americans are the most hated people in the world now.
4.What’s the difference between the US and yogurt?
If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.
5. What do you call a county that lacks a modern telecommunications system?
"Technologically backward"
What do you call a county that lacks a fully integrated banking system?
"Economically underdeveloped."
6.The federal government is trying to decide whether The FBI, the CIA, or the Los Angeles Police Department is the most effective at apprehending criminals. The issue is to be decided with a test - a rabbit is put in a forest and each organization has to find it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation, they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
What do you call a country that lacks a well-connected public transportation system?
"America"
7.On the sixth day God turned to the Archangel Gabriel and said: "Today I am going to create a land called Canada. It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall have tall majestic mountains full of bears and eagles, beautifully sparkling lakes bountiful with trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs overlooking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon." God continued, "I shall make the land rich in oil so that the inhabitants will prosper. I shall call these inhabitants "Canadians", and they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth."
"But Lord," asked Gabriel, "don't you think you are being too generous to these Canadians?"
"Not really," replied God. "Just wait and see the neighbors I'm going to give them.