“政府关门意味着国家动物园关门。谁将喂那些动物呢？有人会晚上把他们关起来吗？很快那些饥饿的狮子和老虎就会冲出动物园。他们会吃掉国会里那些最肥的笨蛋们。那才是解决所有这些问题的答案。”－Craig Ferguson

“两党都指责对方。共和党用手指指着民主党，民主党用手指指向共和党。最后美国人明向两党伸出他们的中指”－Jay Leno

“今天是政府关门第三天，现在33%政府部门完全不工作，其实这不赖，比较关门之前，他们可有80%什么事都不做噢”－Jay Leno

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"I'm glad the government has shut down. Think about it, for the first time in years it's safe to talk on the phone and send emails without anybody listening in." –Jay Leno

"The shutdown means the national zoo is closed. Who'll feed the animals? Is anyone even there to lock them up at night? Pretty soon starving lions and tigers could charge out of the zoo. They'd devour the fattest, dumbest people on Capitol Hill. Actually that might be the answer to all of the problems." –Craig Ferguson

"Both sides are blaming each other. Republicans are pointing their fingers at Democrats, Democrats are pointing their fingers at Republicans. And Americans are pointing the middle finger at both of them." –Jay Leno

It is day three of the government shutdown. Right now 33 percent of the government is doing absolutely nothing, which is not bad considering that before the shutdown 80 percent weren’t doing anything.