"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."

如果有人抢了你的老婆，最好的报复就是让他留着。

Lee Majors (美国影星李梅尔)

"After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay" together.

结婚后夫妻就像一个硬币的两面；他们不但不能面对面，而且还分不开。

Al Gore (克林顿时期的副总统阿尔戈尔)

"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."

不管怎么样，还是结婚的好。如果你找到一个好太太，你会很幸福。假如你找到一个坏的，你会成为一个哲学家。

Socrates (古希腊的思想家、哲学家，教育家苏格拉底)

"Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them."

女人给了男人做大事的激励和灵感，同时又给了男人完成大事的阻力。

Mike Tyson (前美国拳王麦克泰森)

"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"

有一个好问题我总是没答案；那就是“女人到底想要什么？”

George Clooney (美国著名演员乔治克鲁尼)

"I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me."

我跟我太太才说了几个字，她却回了我一段长篇大论。

Bill Clinton (美国前总统比尔克林顿)

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

有人问我婚姻能维持这么长的秘密。我们每个星期去餐馆两次。晚餐有烛光，音乐，和跳舞。她星期二去，我星期五去。

George W. Bush (美国前总统小布什)

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

我不怕恐怖分子。我已经结婚两年了。

Rudy Giuliani (911事件时的前纽约市长鲁迪朱利安尼)

"Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up."

有两个秘密能让你的婚姻圆满：

1. 当你错时，马上认错。

2. 当你对时，闭上嘴巴。

Shaquille O’Neal (美国篮球巨星沙奎尔奥尼尔)

"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..."

最有效的方法记住你太太的生日就是先忘掉一次。

Kobe Bryant (美国篮球巨星科比布莱恩)

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."

我太太和我都高高兴兴的过了二十年，然后我们相遇了。

Alec Baldwin (美国电影明星亚历克鲍德温)

"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."

一个好太太当她是错的时候总是原谅她的丈夫。

Barack Obama (美国总统欧巴马)

"Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy."

婚姻是唯一的敌我睡在一张床上的战争。

Tommy Lee (美国老牌电影明星汤米李)

"First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

有个人骄傲的说 “我的太太是天使！”

另一个听到的人说“你真幸运！我的还活着！”

Jimmy Kimmel (美国著名电视节目主持人吉米金米尔)

“Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!”

“亲爱的，女士优先又怎么了？” 丈夫回答说，“今天世界乱成这个样子就是因为有女的先来了！”

David Letterman (美国电视著名脱口秀主持人戴维莱特曼)

SEND THIS TO FRIENDS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH......AND TO THOSE LADIES

WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR WHO CAN HANDLE IT !

请转送给你的朋友, 以及那些有幽默感的女士, 让他们开怀一笑!