这是我视觉美学课的作业之一：自拍照的部分作品。早前决定要选修视觉美学课时并没有概念具体的学习内容会是怎样，只觉得自己钟爱艺术，再则视觉美学对于制作专业应该也有裨益。

     教这门课的是位五十来岁的女教授，她也是位画家、作家和摄影家。一学期下来功课做了不少，收益自然也不小。

     功课一  每周读一篇艺术理论文章,摘录引用，并写读书报告。

      功课二  在规定的时间内去博物馆看各种展览，并写艺术体验报告。

     功课三  拍摄不同主题的摄影作品并在课上讨论点评，一学期的任务是45张。

     功课四  美学日记，里面要包含所有的作业以及学习过程中的感悟。

      转眼一学期又要结束了。在博物馆里做作业，在路边蹲上一小时拍图片，通过阅读提高艺术修养,拥有一本百余页的美学日记...这门课的学习经历使我对艺术更加痴迷。

      我也正以亢奋的状态完成着期末考试的两项内容，一是Statement of My Aesthetics，写一篇“我的美学陈述”报告；二是 Presentation of My Aesthetics，以演讲加直观演示的方式做20分钟的美学展示。报告已于两天前完成，而展示将以我的工作为基点展开。以主持人身份的视频演示昨天才剪完，以节目制作者为立场的4个还没准备好。虽然期中和期末展示简述教授都给了A++，但还得再接再厉才能确保拿到想要的成绩。

以下是我这周的成果

             Statement of my aesthetics （我的美学陈述）

Aesthetics encompasses numerous aspects of a person; it’s based on one’s experience, background, personality, consciousness, imagination, education, even philosophy. Before I thought aesthetic appreciation couldn’t be analyzed. It comprises various individual elements of the person; it’s a feeling; how hard to explain what kind of taste I have. But through this semester I find it, I am on to what gives me pleasure visually. Just as in my personal life, wearing different dress patterns with diverse mindscapes in vivid roles (Pic1.); I appreciate multiform styles of reality, which represent characteristics purely. (审美关乎人的各个方面，经历、背景、性格、想象力、教育程度、意识形态、甚至人生观和世界观点。我曾经认为一个人的美学观是无法解析的，它是一种下意识，是无数个体元素共同产生的综合化学反应，该如何阐释我拥有何种品味呢？但通过这门课的学习我找到了答案，知道什么样的视觉景象会令我愉悦。正如同生活中的我一样，风格各异的服饰会让我处于不同的心境和意境，进而感受多姿的人生角色(图片1.)，我欣赏任何类型的美,只要它充分体现了应具的风格.) I always discover and enjoy them. When I stay in a luxurious locality, I savor the delicacy with transcendency; when I behold a rural scene, I take in the sapor with simplicity; when I walk in a crowd, I tingle with vitality; when I enter Disneyland, I immerse myself in fantasy… Now I got the answer why I feel happy all along, because the origins of my pleasure are so extensive. Daintiness, rudeness, wildness, simpleness, diaphanousness… I appreciate them all. The only question remains, is whether they are pure, whether they are supreme. (我总是能在身边发现并享受它们。身处高雅奢华之地时,我享受着精致伴随的那份超然;凝视乡野田园之境时,我体味着简单营造的质朴之感;当我在熙攘的人流中穿行,我兴奋于人类积极、拼搏的生命气息; 而当我置身于迪斯尼的卡通世界,我又沉溺于斑斓、唯美的臆想幻景……现在我知道为什么自己总是如此快乐，因为这快乐的源泉来的如此广博。优雅、粗犷、狂野、简约、精致……都为我所赏,唯一的问题是――它是否足够纯粹和极致。)

     When I unscramble my aesthetics more, I find some patterns that function on my appreciation as formulas. They embody spiritual perception and visual perception. （当继续解读我的视觉美学，我发现了一些像公式一样运行的规律作用着我的鉴赏力。它们包含了精神感知层面和视觉感知层面。）

Spiritual perception（精神感知）

Inner space（内在世界）   For me, the most attractive aspect of an image is inner space; I can see spirits there, and it provokes my imagination, drags my emotion, inspires my sensation. Like the eyes of Susan’s self-portraits, I saw in class; like “Wheatfield with Crows” that Van Gogh pained before suicide I saw in MOMA last year; the deep, profound, oppressive feelings I got when I was looking at them will dwell in my mind forever. I think the reason for why Vermeer’s Milkmaid is more successful than his earlier works which pursued painting technique, light, frame more, is just about the spirit, the inner space.（于我而言，一幅作品最能吸引我的是它的内在，我能在其间看到灵魂；它能引领我的想象、激发我的情感、触动我的思绪。就像课堂上看见Susan自拍的那双眼睛;就像去年在MOMA看见梵高自杀前的最后画作“麦田与乌鸦”，凝望它们时所产生的深邃、深刻和沉重之感将永远驻留在我脑海中。我想，比起Vermeer更讲究笔法、光线、构图的早期作品，“挤奶的少女”之所以能成为他第一代表作的原因，也正是内在和灵魂。）

         I had an experience that showed how it works on my aesthetic appreciation. My TV station organized a photography contest at the Moon festival on Oct; I was the one of three judges. They are professional photographers except me; one of them is the president of The Photographic Salon Society of New York. Each of us had to choose five pictures from 100 photos, and then discuss which should be the top three among the pictures we selected. (我也曾有机会检验这个因素在我鉴赏力中所起的作用.我工作的电视台十月份举办了“中秋节”摄影比赛，我是三位评委之一；除了我，其余两位都是专业的摄影师，有一位还是纽约沙龙摄影协会的主席。我们每人要从一百张入围作品中挑选5张，再共同商定最后的前三甲。) I only chose three, and two of them nobody picked. I related my reason:” In my opinion, the most value is the inner space. A rich photograph is not only about colors, frames and lights. The soul, feelings, and expression_r_r of the photographer’s appeal are more important…” I evaluated the three pictures from various aspects as my professor did in the class. Finally, all judges agreed with me. When the president of PSSNY was leaving, he gave his photo album and an invitation to his exhibit to me. At that time, I knew they respected my ability to appraise.” (我只选了三张，且其中的两张都不在他们的选择之列。我陈述了我的理由：“一幅作品最有价值之处应该是它的内在。一幅佳作绝不仅仅在于色彩、光线和构图，其间的灵魂，情绪,以及摄影师的诉求才更为重要……” 我从各个层面解析、评价了这三张照片，就像我的教授在课堂上做的一样。最后，他们都赞同了我的选择。当完成了评审工作准备离开时，这位沙龙摄影协会的主席将他的影集和他影展的邀请函送给了我，那时我知道，他们肯定了我的鉴赏力。）

Historical Appreciation （历史之美）  

I have been obsessed by archaic objects for years. I like reading history books, visiting historic sites, I like staying in a museum all day long to taste ancient period; the vestiges of time, of story, of experience always excite my nerves. The depigmentation, dilapidation, corrosion always arose my contemplation. (我对古老的东西痴迷久已，喜欢读历史书籍；喜欢去名胜古迹；喜欢花一整天的时间呆在博物馆里感受悠旷的远古时期。那些意味着时间、事件和经历的沧桑印迹总能令我兴奋不已。那些物体的褪变、残破和侵蚀总是让我深陷冥思和沉寂。)Moreover, I like keeping things as holding my memory and feelings. Since last year, I have collected every admission pin that I got when I went to the Metropolitan Museum. It seems to me the more than one hundred pins like a record of my life; each time when I see it, I recall the details, the feelings, and the mood of my art experience in the Met, and I’m convinced that it helped me on the progress of studying in the Met.（我还把物品的收集当做记忆和情感的载体。从去年起，我保留了每一次去大都会博物馆的准入徽章，这一百多枚徽章对我而言就如同生活纪录般贮存着我的足迹。每当我看到它们，在大都会欣赏艺术时的细节、感觉、情境和思绪就会弥漫心底。我确信这也使我在大都会的学习得到了更多收益。) Also, compare “new” with “old”, I tend toward the latter. I spent about $700 to repair a Louis Vuitton bag last year, which I bought for celebrating my 20th birthday. My friend asked me: “The price could afford a new bag, why you didn’t buy a new one?” I told her I didn’t pay for a bag; I paid for the anniversary of my 20’s birthday, for the history of my life, for the dribs and drabs of each time I used it in the past 6 years. I treat my bags, pen, watch, and jewelry as beings who accompany me running on the way of life, and notice the scenes when I was using them every single time. The meaning of “old” seems to me is much more than old. Therefore, that’s why I like taking nostalgic yellow pictures; and that’s why I was affected by Miyako Ishiuchi who took pictures of her deceased mother’s delicate slips, shoes, threadbare gloves, old lipsticks...that I saw in International Center of Photography.（相对于“新”我更倾向于“旧”。去年，我用了约七百美金修复一个为自己20岁生日买的路易威登的包。朋友对我说：“这个价钱都可以买个新的了，为何不换一个呢？”我说我并没有在为一个包花钱，而是为了我20岁的纪念日，为了以往的历程，为了过去6年中每次用它时的生活点滴。我把我的笔、手表、首饰和每一个包都看作陪我共步人生旅途的有生命的物体；它们也记录着我使用时的每一幕场景，好比一本本生活日记。“旧”对于我的意义远胜过于旧。这也是为什么我喜欢拍怀旧的褪色照片，为什么当我在国际摄影中心看到 Miyako Ishiuchi拍摄她已故母亲的精致内衣、鞋子、破手套、旧口红的图片时,会如此动容的原因）

Visual perception （视觉感知）

Elaborate （精致）  I adore exquisite things; supremely skilled productions evoke my veneration of human’s wisdom and capability. Once, I was beholding a diaphanous carving on a European table of the seventeenth century for 30 minutes in the Met; I appreciated every particular; the patterns still remain in my mind clearly now. Even oil painting seems to me extremely fancy; when you see the layers of color, the incalculable of stipple, the incredibility of texture; you wouldn’t disagree it’s such a terrifically elaborate work. (我挚爱精美的物品;卓绝的工艺总令我对人类的超凡能力和智慧肃然起敬。我曾经端详着大都会博物馆中一张欧洲17世纪桌架上的雕花长达30分钟之久,我沉醉于其间的每一个细节，直到今天那些雕刻图样还能清晰地呈现眼底。甚至连油画在我看来也是精美绝伦的艺术。当你看着那逐层叠加的色彩，当你看着那不可胜计的点画，当你看着那足以乱真的质感，你不会否认那是精巧至极的作品。)In my mind, the European arts of the seventeen to nineteen centuries is the symbol of refinement, whether stained glass, golden dishware, porcelain, caving, furniture or the brushwork of great delicacy in oil painting.  Every time when I am leaving the Met, I must go around the European selection on the ground floor to admire the most incomparable arts in the world again. （无论是玻璃彩绘、金制餐具、瓷器、雕刻、家具，还是油画中的细腻笔法，在我眼中，17至19世纪的欧洲艺术就是“精致”的最佳典范。每次当我离开大都会时，必定要再去一楼的欧洲馆，再看看那些无与伦比的艺术。）

Black and white (黑与白)    The answer of how long my mind has preoccupied with black and white is outside my recollection. The two colors attract my attention invariably. Open my wardrobe, 90 percent of my clothing is in black and white; the dresses I designed by myself are all black and white (Pic2.); by reason of this, people had taken calling me ‘black and white lady’. (我已无从追忆从何时起就迷恋黑白色系。任何时候黑、白对我都极具吸引力。打开我的衣柜，9成以上的服饰都是黑与白，我自己设计的衣服更是无一例外。（图片2.）为此人们也给了我个昵称“黑白小姐。”) And five years ago, on the moment I got the key of my apartment in Beijing, I decided it should be black and white decoration without the slightest hesitation; black sofa that goes with white pillows; black bookcase, wardrobe, cabinets with white leather bed and white carpets. Every my friend was amazed at that I integrated my style to my home so well. （五年前，当拿到我北京公寓钥匙的那一刻，我就毫不迟疑地决定要把它装修成黑白格调。黑沙发加白靠枕，黑色的书柜、衣柜、箱柜配以白色的皮床和地毯。每个到我家的朋友都惊呼，我的家将我的风格展现得如此淋漓。）Furthermore, each object that is black tie-in white will get more credits than else from me. So far, the most esthetical music video for me is the one I saw in the course assignment of International Center of Photography. The singer directed and shot the video by himself; black frame, white wall, and he wears totally black; hardly express how perfect match black tie-in white in my eyes. Even the folder which I chose for my aesthetics journal is also black and white. （不但如此，黑与白的配搭相比其它，总会让我更为倾慕。迄今为止，我认为最有视觉美感的MV，就是在国际摄影中心完成作业时所见的一部。那位歌手在自导自拍自演的这部MV中身着全黑的服饰在白幕前演唱，而外围是黑色的底框。真的无法形容黑白搭配在我眼中究竟有多完美；就连我为美学日记所挑的文件夹都是黑白色系。）

The process of parsing my aesthetics is also a course of unscrambling me; it’s helped me to understand myself more. Just like the assignment of self-portraits; before I never realized I would be such lonely. I am in a rush to school and work; I study and think all the time; I thought my life is so substantial and never feel alone. But when I saw my self-portraits, I was shocked by the solitary feelings; I was aware that I need to see my family soon. Therefore, I understand completely why my professor said we have to do self-portraits frequently to see what’s changed on us as the artists usually do. Fortunately, I have been attending the course where the professor’s teaching and all the assignments are like a door opening my eye to art. My gains surpassed my expectation of attending the class by a long way. I studied traditional Chinese painting for 6 years when I was young; now, I am sure I will hold the brush again, sooner or later. （解析我视觉美学的过程也是我解读自己的过程，它使我更透彻地了解了自己。这就如同完成自拍像作业的经历一样，我无论如何也想不到自己看起来竟会如此孤寂。每天忙着上班、上学，无时无刻不在学习、思考，我以为我的生活是如此充实，也从不曾感觉寂寞。但当看见自拍照时，我震颤于照片中沁渗的孤独，我意识到我需要尽快见到我的家人。因此，我也完全明白为什么教授说我们应该像艺术家们所做的那样，经常自拍，以此了解自己发生了哪些变化。幸运地，我选修了这门课，无论是教授课堂的教学，还是课后的每份作业都像一道道为我开启的艺术之门，我的所得远远超出了我的预期。小时候我曾学了六年国画，如今我确信，我一定会再拿起画笔，只是时间早晚的问题。）

最终心得：不是人人都要成为鉴赏家，但人人都应有鉴赏力。

                              ――谭琳 11/26/2009