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赏析林语堂翻译的陶渊明《归去来辞》

已有 12640 次阅读2011-6-30 23:55 分享到微信

赏析(节选):

窥一斑而见全豹。只谈陶渊明 归去来兮 前八句就行了。

原文:

归去来兮!田园将芜胡不归?既自以心为形役,奚惆怅而独悲?悟已往之不谏,知来者之可追;实迷途其未远,觉今是而昨非。

林语堂译文:

Ah, homeward bound I go! Why not go home, seeing that my field and gardens are overgrown? Myself have made my soul serf to my body: why have vain regrets and mourn alone?

 

Fret not over bygones and the forward journey take. Only a short distance have I gone astray, and I know today I am right, if yesterday was a complete mistake.

谢百魁译文:

     Go home! My homestead is being desolated, why not go home? Since I myself am to blame for having my soul enthralled by my body, why should I be so sad and forlorn?

I conceive that the past is irredeemable, yet the future has something rewarding in store. I did not go far astray. I feel today I am doing the sensible, though all I did yesterday was inane.

来自网上的海外逸士译文:

Oh, home hasten I!  Why not return when fields and garden growing waste?  Myself have made my soul the slave of my form, why regret and grieve alone?
 I realize that no bygones can be undone, but the future overtaken.  I have,
indeed, gone astray not far, and feel myself right at present, wrong in the past.

赏析:

林语堂的译文始终是我学习简洁英文的典范。他的所有英文写作和翻译都是简洁、流畅和灵动的。 陶渊明的辞赋是押韵的,林语堂的译文也是,并且押得那样自然,好像是他自己在用英文跟陶潜老夫子颔首吟诵一样。

Ah, homeward bound I go! 这个“Ah”使人有如释重负之感:要回家了,跟着五柳先生长吁一口气。homeward bound,释本辞赋中的字眼“归”,贴切。古文原本没有标点符号,此处句尾的感叹号使那种回归故里田园的兴奋心情跃然纸上!

谢百魁译文纯粹是作为经典译文的参照物,因为有比较才能有鉴别。该译文的毛病是对原文理解浅露,句子不流畅,用词大而无当(要善于运用盎格鲁 撒克逊人最初用的那些单音节词啊)。像这样的句子,“Since I myself am to blame for having my soul enthralled…” 读起来好拗口。 “I conceive that the past is irredeemable, yet”, 这种有从句的句子和irredeemable之类的单词适用于论文,而不是诗歌散文。

海外逸士应看过林语堂的译文,所以句子结构和行文与林语堂的有似曾相识之处,遗憾的是画虎类犬。比如起首就太突兀,“Oh, home hasten I!”这种倒装句是何用意?而且用词有大谬。如hasten, 贬义(Haste makes waste),与本辞赋体现的陶渊明的心情极不融洽。还有,growing waste 林语堂译本中的 are overgrown 一比较,顿显孰优孰劣;芜,本意为 overgrown with waste, 亦即“草深豆苗稀”的样子,并不是完全长草的意思。 I have, indeed, gone astray not far, and feel myself right at present, wrong in the past. 句中的indeed 怎么与原文和译者本人的意思那么不协调?用那么多逗号把一个句子隔开,是为了音节?效果却显得支离破碎。总的感觉是翻译得太随意。

附:

归去来辞 陶渊明

归去来兮!田园将芜胡不归?既自以心为形役,奚惆怅而独悲?悟已往之不谏,知来者之可追;实迷途其未远,觉今是而昨非。舟摇摇以轻殇,风飘飘而吹衣。问征夫以前路,恨晨光之熹微。乃瞻衡宇,栽欣载奔。童仆欢迎,稚子候门。三径就荒,松 菊尤存。携幼入室,有酒盈樽。引壶觞以自酌,眇庭柯以怡颜。倚南窗以寄傲,审容膝之易安。园日涉以成趣,门虽设而常关。策扶老以流憩,时翘首而遐观。云无心以出岫,鸟倦飞而知还。景翳翳以将入,抚孤松而盘桓。归去来兮,请息交以绝游。世与我而相遗,复驾言兮焉求?悦亲戚之情话,乐琴书以消忧。农人告余以春兮,将有事乎西畴。或命巾车,或棹孤舟。既窈窕以寻壑,亦崎岖而经丘。木欣欣以向荣,泉涓涓而始流。羡万物之得时,感吾生之行休。已矣乎!寓形宇内复几时?何不委心任去留?胡为惶惶欲何之?富贵非吾愿,帝乡不可期。怀良辰以孤往,或执杖而耘耔。登东坳以舒啸,临清流而赋诗。聊乘化以归尽,乐夫天命复奚疑?

英译:林语堂译本

Ah, homeward bound I go! Why not go home, seeing that my field

and gardens are overgrown? Myself have made my soul serf to my body: why have vain regrets and mourn alone?

 

Fret not over bygones and the forward journey take. Only a short distance have I gone astray, and I know today I am right, if yesterday was a complete mistake.

 

Lightly floats and drifts the boat, and gently flows and flaps my gown. I inquire the road of a wayfarer, and sulk at the dimness of the dawn.

 

Then when I catch sight of my old roofs, joy will my steps quicken. Servants will be there to bid me welcome, and waiting at the door are the greeting children.

Gone to seed, perhaps, are my garden paths, but there will still be the chrysanthemums and the pines! I shall lead the youngest boy in by the land, and on the table there stands a cup full of wine!

Holding the pot and cup I give myself a drink, happy to see in the courtyard the hanging bough. I lean upon the southern window with an immerse satisfaction, and note that the little place is cozy enough to walk around.

The garden grows more familiar and interesting with the daily walks. What if on one ever knocks at the always closed door! Carrying a cane I wander at peace, and now and then look aloft to gaze at the blue above.

There the clouds idle away from their mountain recesses without any intent or purpose, and birds, when tired of their wandering flights, will think of home. Darkly then fall the shadows and, ready to come home, I yet fondle the lonely pines and loiter around.

Ah, homeward bound I go! Let me from now on learn to live alone! The world and I are not made for one another, and why drive round like one looking for what he has not found?

Content shall I be with conversations with my own kin, and there will be music and books to while away the hours. The farmers will come and tell me that spring is here and there will be work to do at the western farm.

Some order covered wagons; some row in small boats. Sometimes we explore quiet, unknown ponds, and sometimes we climb over steep, rugged mounds.

There the trees, happy of heart, grow marvelously green, and spring water gushes forth with a gurgling sound. I admire how things grow and prosper according to their seasons, and feel that thus, too, shall my life to its round.

Enough! How long yet shall I this mortal shape keep? Why not take life as it comes, and why hustle and bustle like one on an errand bound?

Wealth and power are not my ambitions, and unattainable is the abode of the gods! I would go forth alone on a bright morning, or perhaps, planting my cane, begin to pluck the weeds and till the ground.

Or I would compose a poem beside a clear stream, or perhaps go up Tungkao and make a long-drawn call on the top of the hill. So would be content to live and die, and without questionings of the heart, gladly accept Heaven’s will.

海外逸士英译全文:

(简评:成败系于细节:题目不能像下面所附文字,用那个英文里没有的书引号;行文为现代英文,却穿插一些古旧拼法,有故弄玄虚之嫌;许多用词过度了,原文的含义没有把握准确,此点在上面的赏析中已经谈到。剩下的就不必细看了。

取其长,避其短。作为精品的参照物吧。)

HOME  HASTEN  I﹗》

Oh, home hasten I!  Why not return when fields and garden growing waste?  Myself have made my soul the slave of my form, why regret and grieve alone?
 I realize that no bygones can be undone, but the future overtaken.  I have,
indeed, gone astray not far, and feel myself right at present, wrong in the past.

The boat rocketh lightly and floateth along; the breeze gently wafteth and playeth upon my gown.  I ask a passenger the way, and hate the dawn's still grey; and at the sight of my old roofs afar, my pace quickeneth with joy. The pages smile welcome; the children await me at door.  Deserted are the garden-paths, but yet alive the chrysanthemums and pines.  Taking my youngest I enter the room and see the cups overrun with wine.  Holding the pot and cup, I give myself a drink, and glancing at the boughs in yard, my smile groweth broad. On south window I loll with the content of proud freedom and know my humble abode full of leisure and ease.  Daily stroll in garden is my pleasure and though the house hath a door, it is always shut. Carrying a cane I wander about and raise my head at times to have a long view.  Aimlessly rise the idle clouds out of the dale and sensible of returning are the birds from weary flight.  The dim dusk will soon fade, but I linger on inclining upon a lonely pine. Oh, home hasten I!  Let me cease any acquaintance and have no more journey abroad!  Since the world and I have broken with each other, what I seek for if I go round again?  With delight I enjoy the agreeable discourse of my family circle and indulge in lute and books to banish my sorrow.  When the peasants tell me that Spring is come, I have something to do on the western farm. Now I order a covered chaise and now take a single boat; sometimes far up to explore a winding stream and sometimes to drive over rugged mounds. The trees flourish and burst into leaf; the spring floweth in never-ceasing gurgling.I envy all the things in prosperity coinciding with seasons and feel my life is nigh to its end.  Be it so!  How long yet can I keep my mortal form in this world?  Why not give up desires and leave them alone, and where am I to go restlessly?  Riches and power are not my wish and God's paradise canth not be gained. On fine days I am out alone for a walk or planting my cane to pluck weeds and till ground.  On the eastern fields I raise a merry long call, or by a clear creek weave my verse.  I am satisfied to live and die in natural course, and happy with Heaven's will without doubts.


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发表评论 评论 (2 个评论)

回复 rubin 2011-7-3 21:21
学习了!
回复 宋德利 2011-7-1 20:24
你分析得很精到。大师就是大师,无人可与项背。大师的译作,语言凝练而颇具韵味,是诗的语言。感谢你提供学习的资料,并奉献出自己的宝贵意见,获益匪浅。谢谢。

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