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Living a solitary life is an excruciating experience. Yet, it's one necessary for one's ability to work, produce, and create. In the past several months, I've been working on a manuscript. It's been an ordeal experience, and not over yet. The product might be exciting. But the process of its production is slow , boring, and painful. Partly because I'm suffering from the loss of youthful energy (I wish my life rejuvenated.).
Here is what Piirto says in her book "Understanding those who create."
...When you are writing a poem, you carry it with you day and night, for months or even years, often underneath the surface of walking thought; when you walk the dog or drive the car, a word for that poem may enter your consciousness when you do not know that you are thinking of it...
It's a sensation that I have repeatedly experienced in the past several months. Yet, I was not writing a poem, and I'm not even a writer. Most of those occasions occurred when I was searching a better expression for my thoughts and ideas to replace the sentences in the still ongoing manuscript. It may be not a glorious paper, but is one imbued with passed meals, sleepless nights, satisfaction and in despair. Writing is not romantic at all.