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美国中文网
2024.8.8
泰戈尔诗译(2)
11.
Some unseen fingers, like an idle breeze, are playing upon my heart the music of the ripples.
无形的手指,宛若一缕闲适的微风,拨动我的心弦,奏响涟漪般的乐章。
译注
如果将playing upon my heart直译,不过是:“在我的心上演奏。”于是are playing upon my heart the music of the ripples便会译成:“在我的心上奏响涟漪的乐章。”但如果稍加改造,采用化静为动的方法,将静态的“在我心上”改译成动态十足的“拨动我的心弦”,全句就会有两个连续的动作,生动活泼的情趣,溢于言表。
感言
心声不定,有爱则为美乐,无爱则为噪音。
The voice of heart is uncertain. With love, it would become beautiful music; without love, it would become noise.
12.
What language is thine, O sea?
The language of eternal question.
What language is thy answer, O sky?
The language of eternal silence.
大海呀,你在述说什么?
在述说那永恒的话题。
天空啊,你在回答什么?
在回答那永恒的沉默。
译注
Thine古英语或诗歌中的代名词:你的。相当于现代英语和普通英语中的yours你的。
感言
大海沉默之日,便是世界末日来临之时。
The day for the sea to becomes quiet is the time for the world to meet its doom.
13.
Listen, my heart, to the whispers of the world with which it makes love to you.
听呀,我的心儿,谛听那世界的低语,它正是以此对你示爱。
译注
Listen, my heart, to the whispers of the world,两种平铺直叙地直译:1. 我的心,听世界的低吟。2. 听,我的心,听世界的低吟。无论哪种,都显然是祈使句。就是召唤心去听世界的低吟。相比之下,第二种显然略胜一筹。选定第二种之后,再根据诗歌,尤其是诗歌朗诵的特点,做适当的加工。第一是在听后面添加“呀”,读来语气自然柔和,颇富温馨之感。第二是把心做儿化韵处理,显得更加亲切更加悦耳;第三是把听换成“谛听”或“聆听”,显得高雅。
感言
倾诉爱的声音越轻,往往更加真诚凝重。
As for the voice of love revealing, the lighter it is, the more honest and sincere it usually is.
14.
The mystery of creation is like the darkness of night--it is great.
Delusions of knowledge are like the fog of the morning.
创造的神秘犹如夜之黑暗 ? 气势雄浑。
知识的玄妙宛若晨之雾霭。
译注
Great在英语中意思比较抽象,核心意思就是“大”,翻译时可适当选择汉语中相应的词汇。这里的“气势雄浑”绝非不二选择。至于“夜之黑暗”和“晨之雾霭”,只是为了变换句式,才用了“之”,其实用简单而通俗的“的”也未尝不可。
感言
黑暗孕育光明,黑暗也吞噬光明。白天是黑夜的希望,黑夜是白天的归宿。白天在黑夜中产生,白天也在黑夜中消亡。
The darkness is pregnant with the light and the darkness also swallows the light. The day is the hope of the night and the night is the termination of the day. The day is born in the night and the day also dies out in the night.
15.
Do not seat your love upon a precipice because it is high.
切莫因峭壁高耸入云,让爱安坐其上。
译注
Seat使坐下,使就座,帮助找到座位。虽然与put 意义类似,但仔细体味,依然会发现二者之间的细微区别。Seat 的结果是使人成坐姿,但put的结果,是使人处于某种位置,但不一定是坐姿。所以seat不能被put取代,因而也就不能简单地翻译成“把爱放在”上边。
感言
爱情的价值不在于高位,而在于坚贞。
The value of love lies in faithfulness and unyieldingness instead of high position.
16.
I sit at my window this morning where the world like a passer-by stops for a moment, nods to me and goes.
今晨我坐在窗前,世界犹如一位路人,在这儿停留片刻,向我点点头,走了。
译注
关联词where应该译成“在这儿”还是“在那儿”是不同的。这要从“我”说话时所处的位置来分析。只要“我”依然在窗前说话,where 就应该译成“这儿”,如果说话时已经离开窗前,则要译成“那儿”。不过从本诗无从看出“我”是否是在窗前说话,因此译成哪种都可以。不过也有两种都不译出来的。
感言
我们在世界之窗前也都是匆匆过客。
We are also passers-by in hast before the window of the world.
17.
There little thoughts are the rustle of leaves; they have their whisper of joy in my mind.
幽思缕缕,是叶在那儿瑟瑟作响;它们潜入我心,窃窃私语,乐不可支。
译注
首先要说的是little thoughts,汉语中没有“小”和“想”互相搭配的情况,因此可以根据译者自己对诗的独特理解和感受,比较自由地意译。既然是little,用“缕缕”表示似乎还可以。至于把“思”冠以“幽”,则是为了营造一种静谧的氛围。再说in my mind,其含义应该是“在我心中”。译者添加“潜入”,一是化静为动,二是根据全诗的意境适当赋予情感色彩,此外“潜入”比单独的“入”要更加生动,而随后的“窃窃私语”,也是基于相同的考虑。
感言
幽思缕缕,宛如花气,令人陶醉; 缕缕幽思,宛如朝露,令人振奋。
Little thoughts are like flower breath making us intoxicated. Little thoughts are like morning dews making us encouraged.
18.
What you are you do not see, what you see is your shadow.
你是什么样子,自己无法看到,你看到的,只是自己的影子。
译注
原诗只有两句,不妨分割成四段,这样读起来更富有节奏感。
感言
镜中之影,清晰可人,但却是虚的;镜中之影,亮丽迷人,但却是反的。
The image in mirror is clear and pleasant but it is visionary; the image in mirror is beautiful and amazing but it is reversed.
19.
My wishes are fools, they shout across thy song, my Master.
Let me but listen.
神啊,我的愿望多么愚蠢,它们大呼小叫,穿越你的歌声。
让我只管洗耳恭听吧。
译注
Master,耶稣,主。要大写,要加定冠词the Master。
感言
洗耳恭听才能听到得清;洗耳静听才能听得真。
Only listening with great attention can make you hear something clearly; only listening with great attention can make you hear something true.
20.
I cannot choose the best.
The best chooses me.
我无法选择最佳。
是最佳来选择我。
译注
Best 加冠词the就变成了名词,是最“好的人”和“最好的东西”。The teachers selected their best to attend the conference. 教师们选派自己最优秀的分子参加大会。Strive for the best, prepare for the worst. 争取最好的结果,作最坏的准备。
感言
我无法摒弃最差,是最差来摒弃我。
I cannot discard the worst. The worst discards me.