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美国中文网
2024.8.8
泰戈尔诗译(16)
151.
God's great power is in the gentle breeze, not in the storm.
神的巨大威力存在于柔和的微风里,并非存在于狂风暴雨中。
译注
In这一介词翻译成汉语就是“在里面”。 如果多个“在里面”连用,为避免重复,还可以翻译成“在之中”之类。这本无需多谈,但现在是翻译诗歌,因此还是有必要谈两句。此句有两个in,翻译时要注意译句前后结尾字读音的声调。汉语中如果两句并列,前句尾字最好用仄声,后句尾字最好用平声。根据这一原则,本句翻译时就有意将“在之中”置于“在里”之后。
感言
绵里藏针,柔中有刚;滴水穿石,以柔克刚。
Needles hidden in cotton; ruthlessness concealed by agreeable manners. Dripping water bores through the stone. The soft overcame the firm.
152.
This is a dream in which things are all loose and they oppress. I shall find them gathered in thee when I awake and shall be free.
这是一场梦,梦中之物全然松散,但却压抑。我醒来时,将会发现它们却凝聚在你身上,而我便将获得自由。
译注
第一句是带定语从句的复合句。把This is a dream摘出去,拆开译比较清楚,否则会显得累赘。Oppress除了做压迫解,还有压抑,令人烦恼痛苦之意。In somebody在某人身上,I thee在你身上。其中thee是you的古体或诗体。
感言
梦境无限美好,可惜往往违背现实。
Dreams are extremely wonderful but unfortunately they often go against reality.
153.
Who is there to take up my duties? asked the setting sun.
I shall do what I can, my Master, said the earthen lamp.
夕阳问:“谁来继续我的工作?”
泥灯说:“我将尽力而为,我的主人。”
译注
Take up继续。但注意,take-up却是收缩、调整等。
感言
灯光无限美,只需到天明。
Lamp light is extremely nice, but it’s only necessary for it to last till dawn.
154.
By plucking her petals you do not gather the beauty of the flower.
采摘花瓣,得不到花之美。
译注
直译就是:你不能靠采摘花瓣获得花的美丽。这样只是一个普通的句子。如果改变语序,再凝练些,便可成为警语。
感言
最美是花魂。
The most beautiful thing is flower soul.
155.
Silence will carry your voice like the nest that holds the sleeping birds.
沉默犹如容纳睡鸟的巢儿,将会承载你的声音。
译注
根据中文崇尚短句的特点,最好把长句用逗号断开。还可以灵活译成:沉默将会承载你的声音,犹如巢臼容纳睡鸟。为产生节奏感,与“沉默”、“声音”这两个双字词对应,可把“巢”译成“巢儿”或“巢臼”。
感言
声音不是在沉默中消失,就是在沉默中爆发。
Voice, if not fading away in silence, will break out in silence.
156.
The Great walks with the Small without fear.
The Middling keeps aloof.
大者不怕与小者同行。
居中者退避三舍。
译注
Great, Small, Middling都加冠词,形容词作名词用。至于居中者躲避的是谁?是大者和小者两者,还是仅仅小者。如果是前者,就是说,居中者看到大者与小者同行,由于某种原因而退避三舍。如果是后者,就是说,大者不怕与小者同行,但居中者对小者却退避三舍。究竟是哪种情况,似乎可以有不同的理解。
感言
大有大的弱点,小有小的长处; 不以物小而鄙之,不以物大而畏之。
The Great has its weak points and the Small has its strong points. Neither despise what is small nor fear what is great.
157.
The night opens the flowers in secret and allows the day to get thanks.
黑夜秘密地把花儿绽放,却让白昼领受酬谢。
译注
The night opens the flowers不宜直译成“黑夜开花”,因为这不符合中文习惯。在中文里,“开花”这一结构,是指有花者本身主动开花,不同于“开门”、“开窗”等动宾结构中的“门”、“窗”被开。因此,如果译成“黑夜开花”就会表示 “黑夜自己开自己的花”。有鉴于此, 翻译The night opens the flowers不应该单纯追求字数之少,而应根据中文习惯,翻译成“黑夜把花开放”或“黑夜使花绽放”等。
感言
有工作就上,有荣誉就让。深沉的夜,令人敬佩。
Facing work, do. Facing reputation, yield. The night of great depth is venerable.
158.
Power takes as ingratitude the writhings of its victims.
权势者将其受害者的苦恼视为忘恩负义。
译注
Writhings是writhe的动名词形式。Writhe:及物动词,作“扭曲”、“缠绕”解;不及物动词,作“苦恼”、“不安”解。
感言
权势者的苦恼就在于不能令其受害者感到苦恼。
The writhings of power lie in that he cannot make its victims writhe.
159.
When we rejoice in our fulness, then we can part with our fruits with joy.
我们极度欢乐时,就能快乐地放弃自己的果实。
译注
Fulness等于fullness. Part with 放弃,此处不宜译作“分手”。
感言
欢乐使人大度,苦恼使人小气。
Rejoice makes people broad-minded; sorrow makes people narrow-minded.
160.
The raindrops kissed the earth and whispered, --- We are thy homesick children, mother, come back to thee from the heaven.
雨点吻着大地,轻声说:“我们是你想家的孩子,母亲,我们现在从天上回到你这里来了。”
译注
在mother后面的句子要添加“我们”,否则不连贯。
感言
雨滴来自大地,回归大地。雨滴滋润大地,酬谢大地母亲的恩情。
Raindrops come from the earth and return to the earth. Raindrops thank the earth - their mother, by moistening her.